twelve gates

No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. revelations xxii:iii-iv

fire sermon

I once met a man who died.


With one look of His eyes, I think that I love Him.


"What does it mean to live?" I ask Him when He tells me that He is going to die.


"To walk the path of God," He says.


"And the meaning of Death?" I ask.


"To live forever."


I laugh at him.


But He smiles for me, and I feel ashamed. [And I feel happy]


"How should I live?"


"You must kill the you that is killing yourself. But that is the you that will kill me."


And with that look in his eyes, I know I hate Him.


"I don't know you," I say.


"Then you will die." And I see that He is sad. "But this is why I must die."


"But you don't know me." He looks at me quietly, and I realized that it was a lie.


"I'll come to see you again," He says [as He is about to die]. "And then you'll really live."


It feels so wrong. And yet I know it's so right.


But my heart is hard, and I turn away as the sparks fly up.


But I know when I see Him again


things will be different.

unhidden city

"I'll take you to your next life."

In light of OCR approaching, I thought it pertinent~ To continue my trend of vague (but (kind of?) Biblical¹) symbolism.

Sometimes I don't realize that in order to be light to a dark world, I have to be really noticeable to the point that it's painful. It's scary, because there's no way I can be timid and still be effective. So can someone like me be brave enough to live outside from under the bowl, or will I still embrace the darkness of my own heart?


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¹ matthew v:xiv-xvi

apathy

it's so human... a frustrating sort of contradiction; it's alarming, and yet sometimes I feel so petrified that I don't feel anything.

I remember talking, long ago, to a mentor about the issue of apathy, marveling at how cold it felt, and yet how awful the numbness is. As she was praying for me, she spoke of an image that's haunted me since. That I was sitting in the dark, watching as the candle in front of me slowly dies, and yet I can't do anything but watch it drown in all the wax.

But thank God for catastrophes. Because pain is better than emptiness.

Because God knows my name is Israel too.

resolutions

'O weary, weary is the world but here, the world's desire. but here, the world's desire.' -A Christmas Song by G.K. Chesterton this was actually a picture for christmas, but I found that it was appropriate for the start of this semester. it's easy to act as if the first advent was started and ended long ago. But in reality, it first started this age of expectation. if I always remembered, I think I would live in a different way.

beginnings

a blog of sketches, drabbles, expressions.

inspired by words, prayers, songs... life.
comments disabled because I get too self-conscious it's not about me.